To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.

Stuffwise we are not a lean operation. We're the kind of people who, if we were deciding what absolute minimum essential items we'd need to carry in our backpacks for the final, treacherous ascent to the summit of Mount Everest, would take along aquarium filters, just in case.

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet

Is there a medical rule that requires doctors-office personnel to treat you as though you have the IQ of a Cheeto?

Leonard Aster thanked Fighting Prawn and the Mollusk tribe for their hospitality. “You mean,” said Fighting Prawn, “for not killing you?” “Yes,” said Leonard. “It was very gracious of you.” “Do you,” said Leonard, “I mean, does you tribe, shake hands?” “No,” said Fighting Prawn. “We kiss on the lips.” “Oh,” said Leonard, looking very alarmed.

Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

This book is dedicated to Wilbur and Orville Wright, without whom air sickness would still be just a dream.