The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

What I want to know is: Why is it important to have visible stomach muscles? I grew up in an era (the Paleolithic) when people kept their stomach muscles discreetly out of sight.

If the people in Europe are SOOOOOO smart, how come so many of them can't seem to locate the deodorant, huh?

I’ve noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse.

Another important rule of affair-having: Never be discreet at the office.

The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That we live in a world were women actually expect you to think thoughtful thoughts, and have real emotions, which we don't have. Having to try to live up to the imaginary ideal that women have of what men are, instead of just being what you are, which is just a pathetic creature, but still.