The planes are crowded and noisy and late, and everybody hates everybody. If armed terrorists had tried to hijack any of the flights I've been on lately, we passengers would have swiftly beaten them to death with those hard rolls you get with your in-flight meals.

Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.

If for some reason you are unsure where to go, all you have to do is stand there looking lost, and within seconds a helpful New Yorker will approach to see if you have any "spare" change.

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.

Whatever the needs of the public are, the government responds to those needs by getting larger.

Megahertz: This is really, really big hertz.