I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else.

In more than 20 years of opening beers with guys, I have NEVER seen the Swedish Bikini Team show up. Almost always, the teams that show up in beer drinking situations consist of guys who have been playing league softball and smell like bus seats.

Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security.

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.

Smee! Raise the Ladies!

Tokyo is huge. Something like 15 million people live there, and my estimate is that at any given moment, 14.7 million of them are lost.

You cannot paint the exterior of your house. You have to take the paint chip down to show the paint-chip Nazis.