You cannot paint the exterior of your house. You have to take the paint chip down to show the paint-chip Nazis.

Just get on any major highway, and eventually it will dead-end in a Disney parking area large enough to have its own climate, populated by large nomadic families who have been trying to find their cars since the Carter administration.

You should be prepared for anything during divorce proceedings - even the truth.

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

Aside from Velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe.

As a professional journalist, I am always looking for new ways to get paid for being motionless.

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.