I can't recall a story that played out exactly as I'd expected it to. That's one of the thrills of journalism - being surprised, and learning new stuff, but it also poses the biggest challenge to a writer's character.

Your digestive system is your body's Fun House, whereby food goes on a long, dark, scary ride, taking all kinds of unexpected twists and turns, being attacked by vicious secretions along the way, and not knowing until the last minute whether it will be turned into a useful body part or ejected into the Dark Hole by Mister Sphincter.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

It is a good idea to 'shop around' before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant.

The best time to go to Disney World, if you want to avoid huge crowds, is 1962.