As a professional journalist, I am always looking for new ways to get paid for being motionless.

It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta

The Soviet Union at this time was being run by the Communists, a group of men fierce in their dedication to wearing hilariously bad suits. Their leader was Josef Stalin (Russian for "Joey Bananas")

Computers operate on simple principles that can be easily understood by anybody with some common sense, a little imagination, and an IQ of 750.

...Terry Jackson, who is the Miami Herald's automotive writer and TV critic. That's correct: This man gets paid to drive new cars AND watch television. If he ever dies and goes to heaven, it's going to be a big let down.

Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.

I want to gag sometimes when I see who "we" are recommending that people vote for, and not just as a libertarian.