As far as outlining is concerned, I don't outline humor. I might right down a word or two to remind myself of a punch line I thought of, but the actual structure of a piece I really don't. I don't think it would really help me because for me the process is joke, joke, joke, joke.

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.

In modern America, food is abundant everywhere except aboard commercial airplanes.

Software: These programs give instruction to the CPU, which processes billions of tiny facts called bytes, and within a fraction of a second it sends you an error message that requires you to call the customer-support hot line and be placed on hold for approximately the life-span of a caribou.

If the people in Europe are SOOOOOO smart, how come so many of them can't seem to locate the deodorant, huh?

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.

There shall be a National Anthem containing incomprehensible words and a high note that normal humans cannot hit without risk of hernia.