Is there a medical rule that requires doctors-office personnel to treat you as though you have the IQ of a Cheeto?

...light overcomes darkenss. A tiny match can illuminate the darkest room. As long as there is some light somewhere in the universe, [darkness] can be defeated.

Dear Hotel People: We don't need a cheeseball clock-radio. WE NEED PLACES TO PLUG STUFF IN. Thank you.

For most celebrities, the biggest meal of the day is toothpaste (they use reduced-fat Crest).

I do not mean to suggest for a moment that all it takes to be a top executive is a custom-tailored European suit. You also need the correct shirt and tie.

I love Halloween. It reminds me of my happy childhood days as a student at Wampus Elementary School in Armonk, N.Y., when we youngsters used to celebrate Halloween by making decorations out of construction paper and that white paste that you could eat.

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.