A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Fortunately the boat we rented had a motor in it You will definitely want this feature on your sailboat too, because if you put up the sails, the boat tips way over, and you could spill your beer.

The Spanish government, having run completely out of money, secretly sold the Pyrenees to China, and is now separated from France only by traffic cones.

I walked out of the movie "Lincoln" and bought the book [of Doris Kearns Goodwin] at the bookstore next door.

The objective is not so much to walk your dog, as it is to empty him.

It may be meaningless, but at least it's a gesture.

If everybody were a guy, the human race could easily get by on less than one twentieth the current number of shoes.