The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.

For the benefit of those of you who have real jobs and are not involved in the news business, I should first explain that . . .

Do not put this product in a big vat and drop rats into it from a cat-walk.

Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.

For most celebrities, the biggest meal of the day is toothpaste (they use reduced-fat Crest).

I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person who was supposed to provide them with a melody never showed up.