I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else.
Dave BarryWhat I need is a search engine that, no matter what I type in, comes back with GO BACK TO WORK.
Dave BarryI always wanted to write when I was a kid; it just never occurred to me that you could have a job that didn't involve any actual work.... I felt it would be fun to have a job like that where you could make stuff up and be irresponsible and get paid for it.
Dave BarryMost married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result of being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.
Dave Barry