Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

...when the armed robber of unhappiness knocks over the Keebler cookie display of our complacency, and bangs the samurai sword of negativity on the checkout counter of our dreams, we must not be afraid to hurl the fruit cocktail can of hope.

I got a lot of mail from organizations concerned with bike safety. Then I got a couple from people who wanted my support for mandatory helmet laws. I can't support that. If you pass a law like that you'll do more harm than good, because you'll make people think they've done something about the problem when they haven't.

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.

I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else.

Shawn's (Shawn Weatherly - former beauty queen) acting ability is such that she could not convey the concept of falling if your pushed her off a cliff.

Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.