Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.

There are also a number of humans living up there (Canada), and in many ways they have a lifestyle quite similar to ours, including such traditional American activities as driving Japanese cars.

I never start a section of the story without knowing how it will end. I also consciously try to shape the story as though it were a movie.

Today, you're 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!

I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.

This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat content.