Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.

My theory is that there is a finite amount of intelligence in a family, and you're supposed to gradually transfer it to your children over a period of many years. This is why your parents started to get so stupid just at the time in your life when you were getting really smart.

The great thing about golf - and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it - you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.

Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.

By today's beauty standards, of course, Marilyn Monroe was an oil tanker.

Unlike cats dogs never scratch you when you wash them. They just become very sad and try to figure out what they did wrong.