Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Is there a medical rule that requires doctors-office personnel to treat you as though you have the IQ of a Cheeto?

Flying from the United States to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school.

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.

The question is: What can we, as citizens, do to reform our tax system? As you know, under our three-branch system of government, the tax laws are created by: Satan. But he works through the Congress, so that's where we must focus our efforts.

It's very slow for me to create humor. It takes me a long time to write a humor piece. It takes days.

I do some of my best reading while seated in the bathroom.