Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.

When I write my annual tax column, some ex-IRS agent will complain, "There you go IRS bashing again." They're always saying that they're just doing their job. Someone I know once said, "You could get another job."

You don't have to think really hard to get the joke. I think humor in general appeals to all people.

I'm one of those people who tells my wife, "No coaching from the sidelines."

Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water.

Famous designers think nothing of putting their names on your clothing, but would have the servants set the dogs on you if you ever tried to put your name on their clothing.