The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.

It may be meaningless, but at least it's a gesture.

Here in the news media, our focus is on speed. When we get hold of some new and possibly inaccurate information, our highest priority is to get it to you, the public, before our competitors do. If the news media owned airlines, there would be a lot less concern about how many planes crashed, and a lot more concern about whose plane hit the ground first.

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.

As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do.

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukka" and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Hanukka!" or (to the atheists) "Look out for the wall!"