The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other.... While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most settings, uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our "CONFIG.SYS."
Dave BarryWhen doctors describe pain as experiencing "discomfort," it's like saying Hiroshima experienced "urban renewal".
Dave BarryAARP is a large and powerful organization, similar to the Mafia but more concerned about dietary fiber.
Dave BarrySailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.
Dave BarryYou can be the smartest person in the world - which Bill Clinton is, and if he's not, his wife is - and care more than anybody else in the world - which he does, I don't doubt that for a minute. And you can care so much that you're willing to be dishonest - you can tell people one thing but do another because you really know it's for their own good. And you'll still screw it all up. Because the whole premise of what you're doing is wrong!
Dave Barry