You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

Any parent that relies on any law to help him parent is an idiot.

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes it worth revealing, on national television, that you have the ethical standards of a slime-coated piece of industrial waste?

There shall be a National Anthem containing incomprehensible words and a high note that normal humans cannot hit without risk of hernia.

We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin.

Genes are little items that are found in every living thing except Sen. Alfonse D'Amato.

This nation is so friendly that the leading cause of injury is getting passionately embraced by strangers.