You know how on the evening news they always tell you that the stock market is up in active trading, or off in moderate trading, or trading in mixed activity, or whatever. Well, who gives a
Dave BarryI suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.
Dave BarryI am not a violent person. I am a product of the Flower Power '60s. I have actually worn bell-bottomed jeans.
Dave BarryYou and Teacher,โ said Molly. โYes,โ said Peter. โSheโs very clever. Youโll like her.โ โIโm sure,โ said Molly.
Dave BarryThe story you envision as you start out is always a great story; when the facts turn out to be different from, or more complex than, what you expected, your first reaction is always disappointment. That's when you must fight the urge to bend the story to your preconceived notions. First, it's dishonest. And second, in the end, the truth is always the best story.
Dave BarryHere's my proposal, which is based on the TV show Survivor: We put the entire Congress on an island. All the food on this island is locked inside a vault, which can be opened only by an ordinary American taxpayer named Bob. Every day, the congresspersons are given a section of the Tax Code, which they must rewrite so that Bob can understand it. If he can, he lets them eat that day; if he can't, he doesn't.
Dave Barry