You know how on the evening news they always tell you that the stock market is up in active trading, or off in moderate trading, or trading in mixed activity, or whatever. Well, who gives a

Flying from the United States to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school.

Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

I really try to think cinematically, because that's how people read. They create a theater in their minds.

And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.