Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around.

Love and pregnancy and riding on a camel cannot be hid

Nobody in the United States knows what either a "meter" or a "kilogram" is. The whole reason why we fought the Cold War was so we wouldn't have to learn the metric system.

For most celebrities, the biggest meal of the day is toothpaste (they use reduced-fat Crest).

The question is: What can we, as citizens, do to reform our tax system? As you know, under our three-branch system of government, the tax laws are created by: Satan. But he works through the Congress, so that's where we must focus our efforts.

You should definitely have a travel agent. Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines, hotels, and rental-car agencies yourself, only to see the arrangements get all screwed up, when with just a single phone call you can have a trained professional screw them up for you?