Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

If you answered, ''Spin the Bottle,'' then I frankly do not want to know any more about your childhood.

Millions of Americans own dogs, because they are good-natured, simple, and easily amused. I am referring here to the Americans. The dogs are not exactly Mensa members either, but they definitely make better pets than tropical fish.

Love and pregnancy and riding on a camel cannot be hid

We should call editorials what they are: columns written by committees.

I don't even care what Bill Bryson writes about because he will make it interesting. I love "A Walk in the Woods," about the Appalachian Trail, but his most amazing book is "A Short History of Nearly Everything."

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.