I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

[American tax laws] are constantly changing as our elected representatives seek new ways to ensure that whatever tax advice we receive is incorrect.

There's an old saying among scientific guys: "You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs, ideally by dropping a cement truck on them from a crane."

I say we scrap the current system and replace it with a system wherein you add your name to the bottom of a list, and then you send some money to the person at the top of the list, and then you... Oh, wait, that is our current system.

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

Today's beauty ideal, strictly enforced by the media, is a person with the same level of body fat as a paper clip.

One I'm deeply into is Doris Kearns Goodwin's "Team of Rivals." I was the only person in the US who hadn't read it.