If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will. If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%? In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America we call it golf.

I've never been struck by lightning as far as I know, so the Higher Power is treating me as well as even those people who love him very much.

Megahertz: This is really, really big hertz.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

The Soviet Union at this time was being run by the Communists, a group of men fierce in their dedication to wearing hilariously bad suits. Their leader was Josef Stalin (Russian for "Joey Bananas")

I read the whole Jack Reacher series by Lee Child. They don't take long.

Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.