A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call.

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

After the war, Prohibition was passed, and with liquor no longer legally available the nation plunged headlong into the Great Depression.

Today's beauty ideal, strictly enforced by the media, is a person with the same level of body fat as a paper clip.

I've come to realize that you're going to get criticized no matter what. Somebody will always hate what you write, especially if you write humor for a fairly broad audience. Somebody will always find it not funny and declare you're not funny anymore. And sometimes people are just crazy.

I really try to think cinematically, because that's how people read. They create a theater in their minds.

My son, Rob....said the only time he ever wraps a gift is, quote, "if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the person opens it."