Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour."

I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.

For the benefit of those of you who have real jobs and are not involved in the news business, I should first explain that . . .

If Peter was nine, and a new boy came to St. Norbert’s Home for Wayward Boys who said he was ten, why, then, Peter would declare himself eleven. Also, he could spit the farthest. That made him the undisputed leader.

Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spiderwebs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.

Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.