As you know, birds do not have sexual organs because they would interfere with flight.

I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.

The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

Of all the wonderful things government says, that's always been just about my favorite. As opposed to if you get to keep the money. Because what you'll do is go out and bury it in your yard, anything to prevent that money from creating jobs. They never stop saying it.We will say, "This is expected to create x number of jobs." On the other hand, we never say that the money we removed from another part of the economy will kill some jobs.

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.

I can't recall a story that played out exactly as I'd expected it to. That's one of the thrills of journalism - being surprised, and learning new stuff, but it also poses the biggest challenge to a writer's character.