The president, apparently, was so totally unaware of where his foreign policy was that he had to appoint a distinguished commission to help him locate it, and when the commissioners called him in to testify, he told them, essentially, that he couldn't remember what it looked like. Now, if Richard Nixon had claimed something like that you would at least have had the comfort of knowing he was lying. You could trust Nixon that way. But with this president, you have this nagging feeling that he's telling the truth.
Dave BarrySpeaking of food, English cuisine has received a lot of unfair criticism over the years, but the truth is that it can be a very pleasant surprise to the connoisseur of severely overcooked livestock organs served in lukewarm puddles of congealed grease. England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.
Dave BarryThe older I get and the more fiction I write, the more I outline, the more I think about plot before I dive in and plunge too far.
Dave BarryI had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.
Dave BarryIn fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.
Dave Barry