But the feeling I have, you know, is that I'll never come close to reading all, or even a thousandth- a billionth- of the books I'd probably love if I ever got to them.

The nicest Father's Day surprise of all for Dad would be if you handed him a box, and he unwrapped it, and there, inside, sitting on a bed of folded tissue, was the pair of his undershorts that somebody threw away six months ago (without asking Dad) because they had reached the stage where they were 3 percent undershorts and 97 percent holes. Dad misses those undershorts. They were his Faithful Undershorts Companion.

Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.

Never try to put all the chemicals in the entire world in your body at the same time.

After the war, Prohibition was passed, and with liquor no longer legally available the nation plunged headlong into the Great Depression.

A critical function that we journalists perform at political conventions is to try to get into parties that we have not been invited to. There are dozens of these parties, sponsored by large corporations with a sincere public-spirited desire to become larger.

AARP is a large and powerful organization, similar to the Mafia but more concerned about dietary fiber.