Dogs love to go for rides. A dog will happily get into any vehicle going anywhere.

The method preferred by most balding men for making themselves look silly is called the comb over.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The Soviet Union at this time was being run by the Communists, a group of men fierce in their dedication to wearing hilariously bad suits. Their leader was Josef Stalin (Russian for "Joey Bananas")

Most of the presidential candidates' economic packages involve 'tax breaks,' which is when the government, amid great fanfare, generously decides not to take quite so much of your income. In other words, these candidates are trying to buy your votes with your own money.

You must prepare yourselves, young people, because Uncle Dave's generation is getting old. We are almost ready to go to the retirement home to spend the rest of our days tapping our bedpans rhythmically in time to "easy listening" rock 'n' roll. We must pass the torch on to you, and you must grasp it, ideally by the end that is not on fire.

DNA is an abbreviation for deoxyribonucleicantidisestablishmentarianism, a complex string of syllables.