France: As a professional journalist, I like the idea of a society where it is considered an acceptable occupation to basically sit around and drink.

Never have a dog. Let's not beat around the bush here: dogs are morons.

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps.

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space.

Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask whether your country has been inhaling paint-thinner fumes.