In modern America, food is abundant everywhere except aboard commercial airplanes.

You have to be careful on the deck, because of the "hatches," which are holes placed around a sailboat at random to increase the insurance rates.

The average tax payer is not a big voluntary supporter of the arts. The only art that the average taxpayer buys voluntarily either has a picture of Bart Simpson on it or little suction cups on its feet so you can stick it onto a car window.

If you answered, ''Spin the Bottle,'' then I frankly do not want to know any more about your childhood.

Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.

As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do.

My mother told me, “Son, it is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.” I have tried very hard to heed those words.