The Republicans have a high Beady-Eyed Self-Righteous Scary Borderline Loon Quotient, as evidenced by Phyllis Schlafly, Pat Robertson, the entire state of Utah, etc.

Like many members of the uncultured, Cheez-It consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art.

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - 'to spew out paper.'

It is a good idea to 'shop around' before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it.

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.