I argue very well. Just ask any of my remaining friends.

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

As long as humanity has been human, it has looked toward the heavens and dreamed that some day, some way, there would be giant federal contracts involved.

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.

Dating means doing a lot of fun things you will never do again if you get married. The fun stops with marriage because you're trying to save money for when you split up your property.

I'm not sure you can count as history, was Keith Richards's "Life," which he so modestly titled it. I did find it a fascinating book. Keith's a pretty honest fellow.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.