Any parent that relies on any law to help him parent is an idiot.

If Peter was nine, and a new boy came to St. Norbert’s Home for Wayward Boys who said he was ten, why, then, Peter would declare himself eleven. Also, he could spit the farthest. That made him the undisputed leader.

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

I do some of my best reading while seated in the bathroom.

I never start a section of the story without knowing how it will end. I also consciously try to shape the story as though it were a movie.

The whole thing about whether you smoke marijuana or not is so ridiculous. That and whether you protested the Vietnam War. Give me a break. Especially the marijuana thing.