Any parent that relies on any law to help him parent is an idiot.

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.

Just get on any major highway, and eventually it will dead-end in a Disney parking area large enough to have its own climate, populated by large nomadic families who have been trying to find their cars since the Carter administration.

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

My current computer, in addition to 'DOS,' has 'Windows,' which is another invention of Bill Gates, designed as a security measure to thwart those users who are somehow able to get past DOS.

The average tax payer is not a big voluntary supporter of the arts. The only art that the average taxpayer buys voluntarily either has a picture of Bart Simpson on it or little suction cups on its feet so you can stick it onto a car window.