Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.

It's very slow for me to create humor. It takes me a long time to write a humor piece. It takes days.

I'm a big believer in anesthesia. I think it should be used for every medical procedure, indlucing routine physicals.

I have seen women walk right past a TV set with a football game on and - this always amazes me - not stop to watch, even if the TV is showing replays of what we call a "good hit," which is a tackle that causes at least one major internal organ to actually fly out of a player's body.

Reading... a vacation for the mind.

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

The average tax payer is not a big voluntary supporter of the arts. The only art that the average taxpayer buys voluntarily either has a picture of Bart Simpson on it or little suction cups on its feet so you can stick it onto a car window.