I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.

Although it was constructed in 1536, the New York subway system boasts an annual maintenance budget of nearly $8, currently stolen, and it does a remarkable job of getting New Yorkers from Point A to an indeterminate location somewhere in the tunnel leading to point B.

Far too often, we fathers avoid the subject because it's so awkward. The subject I am referring to is: buying gifts for women. This is an area where many men do not have a clue. Exhibit A was my father, who was a very thoughtful man, but who once gave my mother, on their anniversary, the following token of his love, his commitment, and-yes-his passion for her: an electric blanket.

Can we move this conversation along, I'm getting frightfully tired of 'hoa'.

He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.