I just always loved stand-up. It's like magic. You say something, and a whole room full of people laughs together. Say something else, they laugh again. The fact that people come to see that and participate in that... I don't know, it's just like magic.

You got to be careful of the company you keep.

People don't know what it's like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.

Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he's not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn't even say that.

I started when I was 14. I figured out that's what I wanted to do when I was 14. Even when I was six, I can remember people telling me, "You're gonna be a comedian," and all this stuff.

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive.

I'm famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can't count on it.