Money is the fuel for choices. Money gives me choices, so it's not nothing, it's something. But it's not the end all, be all. There are other things in my life that I did not purchase with money that are very valuable.

Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they'd never believe i lived in it. They'd be like 'He's still here!

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.

What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant.

What did the 5 fingers say to the face. S L A P!

If I can make a teacher's salary doing comedy, I think that's better than being a teacher.