People ask me how far I've come. And I tell them twelve feet: from the audience to the stage.

People say that life is a cesspool of darkness and dispair. Well we of Van Halen are sailing through it in a yacht!

A song without a hook is like a train without rails. It skitters all over the place, bangs into everything. Boom! Crash! There goes Grand Central Station. Crushed by a train.

They make this drink in Brazil Called cachaca. It's sugar can alcholho. Costs 35 cents a quart. One quart of that stuff and you see God. Two quarts and you graow a pair of tight pants and an electric guitar.

Self-tragedy is always a great way to dramatize yourself - ask any teenager.

You stick your head above the crowd and attract attention and sometimes somebody will throw a rock at you. That's the territory. You buy the land, you get the Indians.

Van Halen can keep providing the rain and I'll keep providing the parade.