David Lee Roth Quotes

I think the two most difficult things to deal with in life are failure and success

When you can spell subpoena without thinking about it, that's when you know you've made it.

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train.

I used to have a drug problem, but now I have enough money.

I just wanted to be in show biz. I wanted to make music and sing and dance, tell jokes and stories, make ya smile, make ya cry - and charge you $ 8.50

Music journalists love Elvis Costello and hate me because they look like Elvis Costello

I am a one-trick pony. If you tell most people to draw a picture of a tree, they'd draw 35 branches and 10,000 leaves. I will draw you a tree with four branches and three leaves, and I'll spend the rest of the week drawing inside of each leaf. In terms of the grand gesture, I reserve that maximum turbo blast energy for what I do as an artist, and I sing and dance for dinner.

My ambition is to further create a signature sound, a signature spirit, that makes some kind of contribution to music in general.

I always wanted to be an outrage to public decency and a threat to women. And this is one of the few occupations where you're not only allowed that, but you're encouraged.

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

On parties it's not about who you are. The real reason to which a party revolves is how good you look.

Well a good writer writes, a good musician listens to a lot more than he actually composes, and if you're going to do lyrics - well, there's a Freudian slip. That's not even a slip, that's a Freudian move: I said going to do lyrics. If you really want it to ring true, you'll live it first. Go really get your heart broken!

The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit.

Rock & roll is not so much a question of electric guitars as it is striped pants.

Of course building a kitchen makes all the symmetric sense in the world because everybody's burning calories at 120 beats a minute. You could even register it on a graph at the DJ booth. "How fast are they burning calories, sir?" "126 a minute." "Are you sure?" "Oh, I'm very sure." You can meter that out.

My visions and fantasies are pretty standard. The only difference is I got to do it, while most of us haven't. Beyond that, I'm a pretty standard guy. Give me a gal with a sense of humor, acidic wit, who's read a few books and has a body like a Swedish speed skater, and I'm quite content.

Whether I'm on for a day or whether I'm on for a year, at the end of the day, I sing for my dinner.

When you get something like MTV, it's like regular television. You get it, and at first it's novel and brand new and then you watch every channel, every show. And then you become a little more selective and more selective, until ultimately... you wind up with a radio.

Radio as we know it is pretty much changing completely.

I'm gonna abandon my spirit to them, which is actually what I attempt to do. You work yourself up into that state and you fall in supplication of the demon gods.

I don't get all the women that I want... I get all the women that want me.

It dont matter WHAT your doin, ust as long as you LOOK GOOD doin it

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

It doesn't matter the kind of music, it doesn't matter whether it's a cowboy hat or a yarmulke. I don't care if it's outer space or pop, the spirit is the same.

Being a rock star is being a rock star, I don't need to go into the details. What would you do if you were a rock star?

You gotta learn the alphabet, backwards and forwards. And then the choice is yours, 'cause last I looked, the Bible is written in the same words, the exact same alphabet, as my favorite pornography. Choice is yours.

The only thing I'm allergic to is criticism.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

It's not who wants to sleep with you; It's who wants to sleep with you again.

You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real.

There are only so many letters in the alphabet. When I talk to young musicians or authors and they ask for advice, I say, You gotta learn all the letters of your own personal alphabet. With music, you need to know all the different kinds of music and everything in and around your given instrument.

Rap is poetry to music, like beatniks without beards and bongos.

The world's a stage, and I want the brightest spot.

You want to know if we're animals? When I'm on stage with the volume rippling my body like a glass of water and thousands of people are generating heat in my direction, there's no time for thought. My basement facilities take over completely. Sure it's animal. People might like to talk about art, but look where art is, in the gutter.

Let's play with the career, if we can't find anything else to do

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

He who knows how will always work for he who knows why.

Self-tragedy is always a great way to dramatize yourself - ask any teenager.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

I live and breathe and do four times as much four times as fast as anyone else.

Music videos are like girlfriends. I'm constantly amazed on what other people doing

You know what rock musicians are? They are hung up, neurotic, over-weight hippies with sex problems.

I know that people think I'm a party king; but, face it, if I finished the bottle every time I took a drink, I wouldn't be able to do the aerials I do onstage.

I can teach you to jump up in five seconds-it takes years to learn how to land properly.

You want a hero in the music world? James Brown. He brought a feeling to music without really using words. He's just famous for his sound.

Maybe I'm like acts of Congress or your favorite Chinese restaurant - you don't really want to know what's going on behind the door. I'm a real study in contrast, I expect, looking from without. But it adds up to what you get on stage.