Happy birthday to evil North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. He gathered family and friends together and celebrated by executing a few close friends.

Every day we learn more and more about this wacky Osama bin Laden. He lives in a cave and at one time he was a womanizer. But now he has settled down with his five wives and 26 kids, so that's now all over. ... He also had a drinking problem at one time. I believe he went through 'Jihab'

They found a scrapbook with photos of Osama bin Laden from the '90s, and they're studying each and every photo very, very closely. My favorite shot of Osama bin Laden was right between the eyes.

The night before the Olympics opening ceremony, my son, who is eight years old, gets very excited and likes to put out a plate of cookies and some milk for Bob Costas.

Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign, but he has asked the Secret Service if they could continue to provide him protection, at least until his wife cools off.

The Academy Awards are passed out on Sunday. It's voted by members of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences. Or as I call them, 50 shades of white.

I can hardly wait until Donald Trump announces his celebrity cabinet.