Happy birthday to evil North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. He gathered family and friends together and celebrated by executing a few close friends.

At the White House, they caught another fence jumper earlier today. It was Obama trying to get out.

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

I'm nothing if not an optimist.

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.

We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours.