You know what I love best about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt - and that's just in the hot-dogs.

President Obama and his family are spending the holidays in Hawaii, and while they're gone, they got a fence jumper to house sit. Tomorrow, he will be in Hawaii playing golf with Raul Castro and the Pope.

Instead of reading vows at the wedding ceremony, they read hacked Sony emails.

The White House is saying Donald Trump has 'zero percent chance' of being elected. Isn't that a little high?

Congratulations to Bill and Hillary Clinton: this weekend, 33rd wedding anniversary. How about that? And you thought the Iraqi war was a never-ending conflict.

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

Do you know what I'm going to do when I retire? I hope to become the new face of Scientology.