President Obama went to India, South Korea, then Japan. He's going to keep travelling until he finds his birth certificate.

How about this John Kerry controversy? So he's out there in California, tells some kind of joke and it backfires. He's saying he botched the joke. ... This guy can lose elections he's not even in.

Ladies and gentlemen, after what I've been through, I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.

The European countries are really hoping to do well in the Olympics. If they win gold medals, they can use them as cash.

Bush explained his strategy for transfer of power. It's a two part plan. Part one: clean out his desk. Part two: rent a U-Haul.

Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I was hitchhiking."

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.