Obesity is now a problem in the navy. They've created a new rank: Really Big Rear Admiral.

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

John Kerry says the 'W' in George W. Bush stands for 'Wrong.' But he still can't explain what John Kerry stands for.

I always liked Mitt Romney. He looks like the salesman who follows you around at Brooks Brothers.

Keep in mind that your individual vote doesn't mean anything.

John Boehner is a member of a country club in Ohio. It turns out that the bartender was plotting to poison Boehner. Now wait a minute. Isn't that the movie with Seth Rogen and James Franco?

Hillary has now erased all of her emails, and she also had all of her pantsuits dry cleaned.