Obesity is now a problem in the navy. They've created a new rank: Really Big Rear Admiral.

Instead of reading vows at the wedding ceremony, they read hacked Sony emails.

They found a scrapbook with photos of Osama bin Laden from the '90s, and they're studying each and every photo very, very closely. My favorite shot of Osama bin Laden was right between the eyes.

President Bush is going to establish elections there in Iraq. He's going to rebuild the infrastructure. He's going to create jobs. He said if it works there, he'll try it here.

I think you can use some of those words on TV. But one thing you can't do is throw coffee, I've said it over and over again!

One day you're the leader of Iraq, the next day you're being checked for fleas on Fox News.

It looks like President Bush will be handing over power to the Iraqis by June 30th. That's amazing and not only that, but it looks like he'll be handing over power to the Democrats by November 2nd.