But I want to feel like life matters. I had something real with you, but then the realness scared me. I decided to go for other things instead.

I don’t want to know anything, and I want to know it all

We wish we could have been there for you. We didn't have many role models of our own--we latched on to the foolish love of Oscar Wilde and the well-versed longing of Walt Whitman because nobody else was there to show us an untortured path. We were going to be your role models. We were going to give you art and music and confidence and shelter and a much better world. Those who survived lived to do this. But we haven't been there for you. We've been here. Watching as you become the role models.

My pride shut me up, my hurt shut me down, and together they ganged up on my hope and let her get away.

Hello, my name is ees Lebkuchen Spice, and I vant to show you my coooooookies.

And maybe it is only by finding yourself that you can feel the true intensity of becoming close to another person.

I would always wait to take you home.