I hardly ever use pencils. I'm left-handed and it's really messy if you're left-handed because of the graphite smudging. I use them more now than I used to because there's, like, 15,000 pencils all over my house.

I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby.

I like feeling like I'm discovering something new. That's really a special feeling and also, you don't have it that often. At least, I don't. Maybe I'm not creative enough.

Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.

I hate self-publishing; it's a real drag and it takes up a lot of space.

Nobody could be a professional cartoonist, because you have to do something you don't like to do in order to be a responsible adult and pay the rent.

Talking about my personal life onstage, I've realized I'm not one of those comics who can do that. I can allude to it but I don't want to be a confessional performer.