Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.

Sometimes people say, do you want a drink? And I say, oh, I'd like to, but I'm a tragic alcoholic. I always say tragic. I'm a tragic alcoholic.

I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting.

Lovers of audio books learn to live with compromise.

Often I'd take out my magnifying glass and stare into the chaos that was her face.

I giggled out loud at his stupidity. If anyone knew how to make a bed, it was a faggot.

It didn't seem fair to me that Jon Stewart's rally didn't get the same kind of attention that Glenn Beck's did. Why was Beck's seen as checking the thermometer of the country, and Jon Stewart just dismissed as a satirist?