Up close the city constitutes an oppressive series of staircases, but from a distance it inspires fantasies of wealth and power so profound that even our communists are temporarily rendered speechless.

Weird doors open. People fall into things.

My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining.

I hoped our lives would continue this way forever, but inevitably the past came knocking. Not the good kind that was collectible but the bad kind that had arthritis.

High school taught me a valuable lesson about glasses: Don't wear them. Contacts have always seemed like too much work, so instead I just squint, figuring that if something is more than ten feet away, I'll just deal with it when I get there.

A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.

Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it.