I didn't know about the rest of the class, but when Bastille Day eventually rolled around, I planned to stay home and clean my oven.

Sometimes I say to myself, 'Oh, I wish I could win a Tony Award', although I'm not that bothered.

In Japanese and Italian, the response to ["How are you?"] is "I'm fine, and you?" In German it's answered with a sigh and a slight pause, followed by "Not so good.

I was just struggling with my inner vachette and pondering the depths of my own inhumanity.

I've wasted a lot of time pretending to be interested in people who weren't terribly interesting.

On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity. I promised to keep that in mind.

I giggled out loud at his stupidity. If anyone knew how to make a bed, it was a faggot.